Chapter 4 – April 2022 

Spring gives the world a makeover. And it’s the perfect time to do the same for yourself. Refresh your mind with gratitude, kindness, motivation, and love.  Fill your heart and home with the love of family. Strive forward and rejoice in the light that surrounds you, open your soul and let that light, fill your entire being.
Let the April showers wash away your insecurities and the April sunshine warm your sorrows. Let bygones be bygones and let forgiveness engulf your soul. Pull strength from your roots and cultivate positivity, it’s your time to shine, shine brightly.
As the sun rays warmed the earth and the cuckoo began to sing, I fought with inner Demons, dug deep within my soul to find my own strength to let in, light and positivity. I won’t lie and say the last few months haven’t been how I hoped for them to be, I’ve desperately struggled to believe in my self, my self worth and my ability to achieve. I let my voice be silenced and within that silence, a darkness drowned out any faith I once had in myself.
And while those inner demons fought their best hand , their all consuming darkness, took me to places I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
I wholeheartedly admit it’s been one of my hardest struggles to fight back, to let myself believe that I am good enough, that I am capable and that my voice may occasionally be what others may need to help them let the light in and give them the strength and understanding to fight their own demons.
And all the while, while I try my best to slay my own insecurities, I know that love and forgiveness is my strongest weapon and with time, hope and understanding, the light will fade out the darkness and I’ll be stronger and a better person because of my struggles.
I must also remind myself that I shouldn’t let other judgemental minds, to snuff out my light or the faith in my ability to be truly me.

In other aspects of my life, I’ve found comfort in the things I love, I’ve sown seeds upon seeds and marvelled in the calm of watching new life and beginning bursting to life. I’ve found gratitude and understanding while researching the lives and struggles of our ancestors and I found peace in every stitch that’s fallen from my hook.

🤒

Health.
Stress and upset always effects my health, so it’s been a hard month health wise and to add insult to injury, the dreaded virus finally caught up with us. It’s swept through the household, which in its own right was stressful and a tad frightening.
Luck was on my side and somehow I managed to escape its claws. I think that’s because I had the booster which in turn gave me covid, as since I had that awful injection my health hasn’t been right, far from it. I solemnly swear that the booster was the cause and if it wasn’t that jab, then I caught covid while having it.  Thankfully Mark and our boys got off lightly and they are well on the road to recovery which I thank my lucky stars about.✨ 

🧐

Family History.
To deny that research has taken over my every waking moment would be I lie. I live, sleep, dream research. It’s become my Ultimate happy place and I’m more in love with researching than ever before.
If I could, I would spend my every waking moment looking through dusty documentation and discovering all I can about the truly amazing people whom gave us life.
Those names listed on census or parish records, are so much more than letters written down, they are our creators and we owe them everything. 
Lately I have been researching my children’s paternal ancestors, with Sarah my very talent Sister in-law and together we have dug deeper, researched harder than ever before. We have spent weeks upon weeks piecing together the mysteries our ancestors left behind and I truly have loved every single second of it. 
I strongly believe that we have come into our own and stepped up a level or two in the process. And I’ll happily admit that I feel extremely proud of what we have achieved while working as a team and I for one think we make a great team. 
It’s been such a pleasure to work beside her, to throw ideas of each other and have someone as passionate about the past as I am, researching beside me, has truly been an honour.
We have been working our hardest to bring our ancestors to life, to never let them be forgotten. To bring you their stories, their achievements, their devastations, their joys and hopefully, possibly, a glimpse into their personality’s. We have put our all into each and every incredible soul and over the next few weeks we have 4 life stories to share with you all.
I sincerely hope that through our hard work and determination, we will bring them to life and they with touch your hearts as they have done to ours.
If you missed who I or we have research throughout April, you can find them here, here and here.

🧶

Crochet.
At times it can be very frustrating to have more than one passion and as I only have one set of hands, I sometimes have to let a passion slide to give way for another to shine. Crochet unfortunately has had to take a back seat of late as I’ve put my all into researching and growing my seedlings.
I do feel guilty, because the project I’m working on is extremely important and special to me but if I’m honest with myself, crochet isn’t the best for me right now because it gives my mind to much time to think and get lost in the chaos the consumes my thoughts. I have to protect myself from those thoughts and emotions so if crochet has to take a back seat for a while, it’s has to be that way unfortunately. I think that maybe another reason why I have thrown everything I have, into researching because I don’t have to deal with, the sadness that’s embedded itself in my soul, of late.
However I did manage to complete part 4 of my Uncle Kevan’s “Phoenix” bedspread and it’s starting to emerge into something beautiful. Something I hope will be treasured.

After part 4 it measures 30 inches by 30 inches, I’ve used 16 skeins (800 grams / 1312.0 yards) of yarn at £3.19 each. The total cost of yarn so far is £51.04.

🌼

Garden.
April was all about planting seeds and watch them take root and emerge from the soil. I’ve planted so many seeds I have ran out of space and I’m grateful that I have a wonderful family, so when these tiny seedlings are grown into decent sized plants, I can fill their gardens with flowers and they can bring the ones I love them most, some happiness. Isn’t that what life’s about, giving those you love a little peace, tranquility, happiness and trillions of smiles!!! 😁
I wholeheartedly admit, it hasn’t been the easiest growing season, with one obstacle after another, from whitefly to slug invasions, to constant temperature fluctuations, it’s been trying. 🐌
I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m still very much a beginner and have so much to learn, so, so much.
Yes it’s been disheartening at times and I’ll admit it’s got to me on a few occasions but isn’t that how we learn the best, through trail and error even failures. And of course achievements.
I guess I must be doing something right, I haven’t killed them yet so that’s a great big bonus.

Right I best luv ya and leave ya until next time, I have ancestors to research. 🧐
Stay safe, stay true, stay you and never let anyone snuff out your light.
Too-da-loo for now.

🦋🦋🦋

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