Athena, the epitome of grace and intellect, and her floppy, toe-bean-equipped Malamute brother Obito, had never experienced the phenomenon known as *The Elf on the Shelf*. And it was fair to say that the elf had never experienced anything like Athena and Obito either.
It all started one crisp December morning when their human placed the elf high on the bookshelf. Athena, perched regally on the couch like a queen surveying her domain, immediately spotted the intruder. Her blue and chestnut eyes narrowed. Who was this smug, plastic-smiling interloper daring to overlook her kingdom? She gave a low huff of disapproval, flicking her bushy tail dramatically.
Obito, meanwhile, lay sprawled on the floor, nibbling on a squeaky toy shaped like a reindeer. He tilted his oversized head and perked up his floppy ears at Athena’s huff. This was code for “trouble brewing.” Excited, he scrambled to his oversized paws, sending the reindeer toy flying. It hit the bookshelf with a dull thunk.
The elf wobbled.
Athena's eyes widened. “Did you see that, Obito?” her expression seemed to say.
Obito, never one to let his big sister down, barked excitedly. His bark, however, was more of a clumsy boof that made the elf teeter once more. This, naturally, could not stand. Athena leapt gracefully from the couch with the agility of a trained gymnast, her elegant paws landing silently on the rug.
“It’s just a doll,” their human said from the kitchen. “Leave it alone, guys.”
Athena tilted her head toward Obito. Clearly, their human was wrong. This elf was a threat. 
Obito nodded enthusiastically. He was 100% on board with whatever Athena was thinking, as always.
Together, they approached the shelf, Athena leading the charge with her dignified strut. Obito bumbled along behind her, his giant paws sliding across the hardwood floor like a baby deer learning to walk.
Athena stopped and inspected the bookshelf. She sniffed delicately, her noble nose wrinkling at the elf’s peppermint scent. It was clearly mocking her. Deciding she needed a closer look, Athena tried to leap onto the shelf. But the surface was slick, and her back legs slipped! She landed in a heap on the floor, her fur poofing in indignation. 
Obito thought this was hilarious. His deep, durpy laugh echoed through the room. Inspired by his sister’s determination, he decided to help. Athena stared as Obito charged at the bookshelf like a runaway train. His big paws scrambled, knocking over a lamp, a stack of magazines, and finally the elf itself, which tumbled to the ground with a plop.
They both froze, staring at the small red figure. Athena crept forward, sniffing it cautiously. Obito watched, his tail wagging so hard his whole body swayed like a metronome.
Just as Athena decided the elf posed no immediate threat, Obito’s curiosity got the better of him. With a dramatic lunge, he snatched the elf in his jaws and bounded around the room, his oversized ears flapping with glee. Athena barked, both impressed by his daring and mortified by his lack of finesse.
“Obito, drop it!” their human yelled, racing in to intervene. Obito froze mid-bound, his massive paws skidding to a halt. He turned, looking sheepish, the elf dangling from his mouth like a limp noodle.
When their human finally wrestled the elf away, it was missing an arm and half a leg. Obito sat, wagging his tail apologetically, while Athena slunk off to the corner, pretending she’d had no part in the chaos.  
That evening, the elf was perched again, this time on the mantle, far out of reach. Athena watched it suspiciously from the couch, her tail twitching with a mix of frustration and intrigue. 
Obito, however, was already snoozing on his back, his enormous paws twitching as if dreaming of chasing that elusive elf again. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, drool pooling on the floor.
The elf, though battered, sat upright, its painted smile as smug as ever. Athena huffed once more. This wasn’t over.
As the moon rose high in the winter sky, Athena lay wide awake on the couch, her mismatched eyes fixed on the elf perched smugly on the mantle. Its unblinking stare seemed to mock her defeat. She could almost hear it taunting her: "Bested by a doll? Some queen you are!"
Athena wasn’t about to let this affront slide. No way. She was the ruler of this household, and no pint-sized plastic interloper was going to outwit her. She needed a plan.  
The problem, however, was her accomplice. Obito, sprawled on his back with his legs sticking straight up, was snoring so loudly it sounded like someone trying to start a rusty lawnmower. His tongue lolled out of one side of his mouth, a leftover piece of kibble stuck to his chin. Athena sighed deeply. She loved him, but stealth was not in Obito’s wheelhouse.  
Still, his strength might come in handy.  
Athena trotted over and gave him a sharp nudge with her nose.  
“Bwah?” Obito snorted awake, blinking his sleepy eyes. He saw Athena standing over him with her commanding I-have-a-plan look and immediately perked up, his tail thumping against the floor.  
“Follow me,” her expression said, and Obito eagerly obeyed, though he tripped over his oversized paws twice just trying to stand.  
They crept, well, Athena crept, and Obito lumbered, toward the mantle. Athena pointed her nose toward the elf, then looked at Obito.  
“Got it,” Obito seemed to say, puffing out his chest. He reared up on his hind legs, his big front paws bracing against the fireplace. Athena’s plan was simple: Obito would use his size to knock the elf down, and she would pounce on it before their human could intervene.  
But Obito, being Obito, had a slightly different interpretation of the plan.  
Instead of knocking the elf down, he leaned too far forward, lost his balance, and crashed into the Christmas stockings. One stocking, stuffed to the brim, fell onto Athena’s head, momentarily blinding her. She flailed, her elegant paws batting at the fabric.  
Obito panicked. He barked loudly, probably to warn the elf that it was about to face justice, and his tail wagged so hard it knocked over a side table. The clattering noise sent their human rushing into the room.  
“What now?” their human groaned, finding Athena wrapped in a stocking and Obito standing proudly with his paws on the mantle, drool hanging from his jowls like tinsel. The elf, still perched on the edge, wobbled precariously.  
“Athena! Obito!” their human scolded, but before they could do anything, the elf toppled. Time seemed to slow as it fell, landing directly in Athena’s line of sight.  
Freed from the stocking, she pounced like a lioness. She landed perfectly on her paws, the elf gripped triumphantly in her teeth.  
Obito barked in celebration, his tail thumping the wall like a drumbeat.  
Their human sighed in defeat, muttering something about “dog-proofing the mantle.” Athena trotted proudly to her bed with the elf still in her mouth, depositing it there like a trophy. Obito followed, flopping down beside her and giving her a slobbery lick of approval.  
That night, Athena lay with her head resting on her paws, satisfied at last. The elf was battered but dethroned, lying limply in her bed. Obito snored loudly beside her, his massive paws twitching.  
The next morning, the elf reappeared, this time sitting on the top of the fridge. Athena stared at it, her chestnut and blue eyes narrowing with determination.  
Obito, oblivious to the ongoing war, happily nosed the stocking that had once trapped his sister, searching for treats.  
The battle wasn’t over, but Athena was patient. She would wait, watch, and strike again. After all, she was Athena the elegant, intelligent, soft-hearted queen. And no elf could outlast her.  
The elf, however, sat on the fridge, its painted smile smug as ever. And thus, the war continued.
Athena wasn’t the type to back down. The fridge? A clever ploy, she had to admit. It was a fortress of cold snacks, forbidden zones, and most importantly, far out of her immediate reach. But Athena wasn’t just elegant, she was cunning. 
She sat beneath the fridge that morning, staring up at the elf like a general strategizing a siege. Her blue eye gleamed with inspiration, while her chestnut eye reflected a glimmer of stubborn determination. Obito, meanwhile, had discovered a stray sock under the couch and was gleefully parading it around the house like it was the Holy Grail.
Athena sighed. Obito’s energy was boundless, but his attention span? Nonexistent. Still, she needed him for phase one of her plan.
“Obito,” she barked softly, summoning her durpy lieutenant.
He bounded over with the sock still in his mouth, wagging his tail so hard he accidentally knocked over the water bowl. Water splashed everywhere, soaking Athena’s paws. She shot him a glare, but he just wagged harder, thinking he’d done something spectacular.
“Focus,” her eyes said as she nudged him toward the fridge.
Obito tilted his head, clearly not understanding. Athena sighed dramatically, then reared up on her hind legs and pawed at the fridge. She glanced back at Obito as if to say, “Do this. Use those ridiculous giant paws for something useful.”
Obito’s eyes lit up. He dropped the sock and charged at the fridge with the grace of a baby rhino. His enormous paws slapped against the fridge door, creating a thunderous thud. The elf wobbled but held its ground. Athena’s ears twitched. So close!
Obito barked excitedly, thinking the plan was a success. He leaped again, this time pawing higher. The elf teetered dangerously. Athena’s tail wagged once. This might work.
But then Obito got distracted. He sniffed the fridge door, then started licking it. Perhaps he thought he could taste the snacks inside. Athena groaned, her patience wearing thin.
“Obito!” their human called from the other room, hearing the commotion. “Get down from there!”
Obito froze, one paw still against the fridge, his ears drooping. He backed away slowly, his big toe beans leaving wet prints on the floor. Athena growled softly. Once again, her plan had been foiled by her brother’s clumsiness.
Their human appeared in the doorway, sighing at the puddle and the overturned water bowl. “What is with you two?” they muttered, grabbing a mop.
Athena decided she’d have to escalate her tactics. The fridge was just a temporary setback. She retreated to her bed to plot while Obito flopped down beside her, gnawing happily on a chew toy as if they hadn’t just failed spectacularly.
That night, Athena waited until the house was silent. The humans were asleep, the lights dimmed, and even Obito was snoring his signature rusty lawnmower snores. Perfect.
She nudged him awake. “Boof?” he snorted, looking around groggily.
Athena trotted to the kitchen, her movements graceful and silent. Obito followed, his nails clicking loudly against the floor despite his best efforts to sneak. When they reached the fridge, Athena stared up at the elf, her mismatched eyes sparkling in the moonlight. She turned to Obito and gave him a look that said, “You’re my ladder now.”
Obito tilted his head, confused. Athena huffed impatiently and climbed onto his back. Obito stood still, his massive paws splayed for balance, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth as if this was the best game ever.
With Obito as her sturdy base, Athena stretched upward. Her paws scrabbled at the fridge handle, pulling it slightly open. She lost her balance, slipping off Obito and landing on the floor with a thud.
The fridge door swung open, revealing… leftovers. Delicious, tantalizing leftovers.
Obito’s nose twitched. He dove in, shoving his head into a container of mashed potatoes. Athena tried to grab him, but it was too late. The sound of clattering Tupperware filled the house.
Their human burst into the kitchen, flicking on the light. “Seriously?!” they yelled.
Obito lifted his head, mashed potatoes smeared across his face like war paint. Athena sat beside him, looking dignified despite the chaos, as if to say, “I had nothing to do with this.”
And the elf? It remained untouched, still perched smugly atop the fridge, its painted grin unshaken.
Athena retreated to her bed that night, defeated but not discouraged. The elf had won another battle, but Athena was nothing if not persistent.
Obito, on the other hand, fell asleep immediately, dreaming of mashed potatoes and stockings. His snores filled the house as Athena stared at the fridge, her mismatched eyes narrowing.
Tomorrow, she thought. Tomorrow, that elf is mine.
The next morning, Athena awoke with renewed determination. She stretched elegantly, her fur catching the sunlight streaming through the window, and cast a glance toward the kitchen. The elf was still there, perched smugly atop the fridge, its painted grin as infuriating as ever. 
Athena paced, her tail swishing like a metronome. She needed a new approach, something Obito’s bumbling paws couldn’t ruin. Her mismatched eyes sparkled as a brilliant idea took shape.  
But first, she needed to test it.  
Step one was reconnaissance. Athena padded quietly into the living room and found Obito lying on his back, his legs splayed in every direction, deep in a dream. His enormous paws twitched as if he were running a marathon in his sleep. Perfect. He wouldn’t interfere…yet.  
Athena trotted to the bookshelf and sniffed around. Her keen nose detected a faint scent of peppermint, the elf’s signature odor. She craned her neck, delicately pawing at the lowest shelf, then gracefully leapt up to investigate. Her lithe frame made it easy to navigate the cluttered shelves, and soon she was face-to-face with a decorative snow globe.  
She tapped it gently. It wobbled. Her tail flicked in satisfaction. If a snow globe could be toppled, so could an elf.  
Step two: recruit Obito for his strength, not his brain.  
Athena padded back into the living room and nudged her sleeping brother. Obito snorted awake, his tongue lolling out as he blinked up at her.  
“Boof?” he asked groggily.  
Athena gave him her best commanding look, her tail wagging slightly to encourage compliance. Obito yawned, stretched his enormous paws, and finally lumbered to his feet.  
She led him to the kitchen and pointed her nose at the fridge. Obito tilted his head. Clearly, he wasn’t sure what she wanted, but he was always happy to play along.  
Athena tapped her paw on the fridge door, then looked at him. “Lift me,” her expression said.  
Obito barked once, loud enough to startle a squirrel three blocks away, and wagged his tail with such enthusiasm that he knocked over the trash can. Athena groaned.  
“Quiet!” their human called from the other room.  
Athena shot Obito a glare and tried again. She placed her paws on his back, gently climbing onto him. Obito wagged even harder, nearly toppling her, but she steadied herself with a grace born of sheer willpower.  
From her elevated position, Athena stretched upward, her paws just brushing the elf. She could feel victory within her grasp.  
And then… disaster struck.  
Obito, overwhelmed by the joy of teamwork, decided to move. He took a step forward, then another, completely unaware that Athena was precariously balanced on his back. She let out a startled bark as she tumbled to the ground, landing in a heap.  
The commotion startled Obito, who yelped and spun around, accidentally swiping a kitchen stool with his giant tail. The stool toppled, hit the counter, and sent a plate of cookies flying.  
The cookies soared through the air like frisbees. One smacked the elf square in the face.  
The impact sent the elf tumbling from its perch, landing unceremoniously in Athena’s food bowl. Athena and Obito froze, staring at the scene with wide eyes. The elf lay there, half-covered in cookie crumbs, its painted smile suddenly looking less smug.  
Their human appeared in the doorway, mouth agape. “What… WHAT did you two do?”  
Obito, ever the optimist, wagged his tail furiously, his tongue lolling out as if to say,“Look! We got the elf for you!”
Athena, on the other hand, sat down primly and gave her human an innocent look. Her mismatched eyes said it all, “The elf fell. I had nothing to do with this.”
Their human sighed, shaking their head as they picked up the elf and examined it for damage. “You two are a menace,” they muttered, placing the elf high on a different shelf in the living room.  
As soon as their human left the room, Athena turned to Obito, her tail wagging slightly. Despite his clumsiness, her brother’s enthusiasm had helped her achieve what she couldn’t alone.  
Obito barked happily, nudging Athena with his nose. She gave him a small lick on the cheek, a rare show of affection from the usually dignified husky.  
But as she turned her mismatched gaze to the new shelf, her tail swished with determination.  
The elf might have escaped again, but Athena wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.  
Tomorrow, the battle would resume. And this time, Athena had a new plan, one even Obito couldn’t ruin.
The following morning, Athena woke up with the clarity of a general on the brink of victory. Today was the day. No more missteps. No more distractions. The elf would be hers. 
She trotted into the living room and surveyed the new location. The elf was perched on a high shelf near the Christmas tree, surrounded by twinkling lights and tinsel. It sat smugly, as if daring her to try again. Athena’s mismatched eyes gleamed. She had already envisioned her victory.  
This time, she would combine her intelligence with Obito’s uncontainable energy. Together, they would succeed.  
“Obito!” she barked softly.  
Obito, who had been sprawled out in a sunny patch on the floor, rolled over with a groggy “Boof?” He shook his oversized head, his floppy ears flapping like sails, and padded over to his sister.  
Athena gave him a look that said, “This is it. Our moment.” Obito, despite not fully understanding, wagged his tail enthusiastically.  
Athena nosed at the Christmas tree, drawing Obito’s attention. She pawed at the lower branches, making the baubles jingle. Obito perked up immediately. A game? With shiny things? This was his calling!  
Athena darted behind the tree, leaping onto the couch that was positioned near the shelf. From there, she could almost reach the elf, but she needed Obito to create just the right chaos.  
Obito barreled toward the tree, his massive paws sliding on the hardwood floor. He skidded into the base, making the tree sway precariously. The elf wobbled but held its place.  
“More,” Athena’s expression seemed to say as she barked once.  
Obito barked back and charged again, his excitement reaching critical levels. This time, his momentum sent the tree tipping slightly toward the couch. Athena crouched, ready to pounce.  
As the tree leaned, its branches swept closer to the shelf, bringing the elf within range. With a powerful leap, Athena soared from the couch, her graceful form slicing through the air.  
Her paws hit the shelf with perfect precision, her claws gripping the edge. The elf, knocked loose by the impact, tumbled downward.  
“Got it!”  
Well, almost.  
The elf bounced off a lower branch of the tree, ricocheted off the couch, and landed directly in Obito’s waiting paws. He looked down at it, confused but delighted, his tail wagging so furiously that it swept a pile of ornaments off the floor.  
Athena landed gracefully beside him, her mismatched eyes fixed on the prize. She gently pried the elf from Obito’s clumsy grip and carried it to her bed like a lioness returning from a successful hunt.  
Obito followed, his tail wagging so hard it created a gust of wind. He flopped down beside Athena, watching as she deposited the elf triumphantly in her bed.  
The elf, now slightly worse for wear with a crooked hat and a missing peppermint scent, finally looked defeated. Athena lay beside it, her chestnut and blue eyes filled with satisfaction. Obito, ever the happy-go-lucky sidekick, licked her cheek in celebration.  
Their human entered the room moments later, staring at the scene in disbelief. The Christmas tree leaned awkwardly to one side, ornaments scattered across the floor. Athena lay regally in her bed, the battered elf at her paws, while Obito grinned up at their human, his tail wagging as if to say, “Did you see that? We’re heroes!”
Their human sighed deeply, shaking their head. “You two…” They reached down, gently retrieving the elf from Athena’s bed. “Guess we’re retiring this guy early this year.”  
Athena let the elf go without protest. Her point had been made. She had won. The elf was no longer the smug overlord of the household.  
That night, as the house settled into peaceful quiet, Athena curled up in her bed, finally content. Obito snored beside her, his giant paws twitching in dreams of more adventures.  
And the elf? It sat on a high shelf in the closet, out of sight and far from the dogs' reach. But Athena didn’t care. The war was over. The queen had triumphed.  
For now.