It began with a mood. Not just any mood, but the smug, tail-flicking satisfaction of one tabby cat named Munchkin, perched like a furry dictator on the back of the couch. He had not forgotten being listed on eBay by his two canine siblings. Not forgiven. And certainly not moved on. No, Munchkin was a cat with a plan. A plan involving revenge, humiliation, and, of course, banana-flavored liver treats.
Athena was sprawled regally across the carpet, dramatically draped in her favorite throw blanket like some disgruntled queen without her throne. Obito, her oversized and ever-goofy malamute brother, was chasing his own tail and occasionally knocking into furniture. As always, his smile suggested he’d just licked a power outlet and liked it.
In the other room, the humans were distracted by Zoom calls and attempting to function like adults. This was the window of opportunity. Munchkin leapt onto the human’s laptop, typed with the grace of a caffeinated squirrel, and registered both dogs for Pawfect Pup Obedience School. The confirmation email included phrases like “structured discipline,” “positive reinforcement,” and “surprise agility tunnels.”
It was only when the car ride began, filled with cheerful human voices promising fun and enrichment, that Athena grew suspicious. She glared at Obito, who was gleefully fogging up the windows with his panting. He had no idea what was coming. Neither of them did.
They arrived at obedience school to the dulcet tones of ambient pan flute music and the stench of over-sanitized tragedy. The floor was polished to a squeaky shine, cones were ominously placed in patterns suggesting ritual sacrifice, and a Labrador named Bartholomew stood perfectly still, wearing a bowtie and the dead-eyed look of someone who had given up months ago.
Athena recoiled in horror. Obito barked joyfully and tried to mount a potted plant. A woman appeared out of nowhere, like a sitcom side character with way too much backstory. This was Miss Cheryl. She wore bedazzled Crocs and a utility vest full of clickers and judgement.
"Welcome, puppies!" she trilled, and clicked a clicker as if summoning demons.
Obito, naturally, thought it meant snacks and immediately sat, then laid down, then rolled over, then burped. Athena refused to sit. She locked eyes with Miss Cheryl in a showdown that could have set fire to dry grass. When coaxed, Athena responded by dramatically collapsing to the floor and moaning like a ghost with unfinished business.
Things escalated quickly. Miss Cheryl introduced the training leash, a retractable pastel insult to dignity with tiny daisies on the handle. Athena took one look and began limping theatrically, dragging her paw as if she’d been wounded in an emotional war. Obito tried to eat the leash, accidentally wrapped it around a stool, and managed to tie himself to a mop bucket.
They were given demerits. Miss Cheryl had a whiteboard. The tally marks multiplied.
The class ended with banana-flavored liver treats. Obito inhaled his and then attempted to inhale the entire treat pouch. He knocked over a chair, got a treat stuck in his lip, and still grinned like he’d just won a Grammy. Athena sniffed hers, then looked up at Miss Cheryl as though she'd been handed a wet sock and told it was caviar.
On the way home, Obito slept deeply, his leg twitching with dreams of tunnels and treats. Athena sat upright, staring out the window, plotting Munchkin’s downfall with the focus of a wolf general. She had not forgotten. She would not forgive.
They entered the house to find Munchkin waiting by the door, freshly groomed and purring like an idling chainsaw. On the floor was a package. Inside were matching obedience vests embroidered with "Student in Training" in Comic Sans, and a shiny new training clicker.
Athena barked once in horror. Obito licked the vest and wagged his tail.
There was also a note. Miss Cheryl had written, Looking forward to next week! Athena and Obito have great potential. Rough edges, but I love a challenge!
Obito drooled happily onto the note. Athena didn’t move. Munchkin casually hopped into Athena’s blanket nest and licked his paw with precision, like a villain post-monologue.
He had won.
But in the dark, something stirred.
Revenge was coming.
And it smelled like bacon treats and absolute chaos.


©️Lainey Green - Intwined.blog