In a picturesque little villiage, where the flowers bloomed like a thousand Instagram filters and the grass was always greener on the other side (mostly because no one had yet discovered Athena and Obito’s “garden enhancements”), lived two very mischievous dogs, Athena, the bi-eyed, grey, black and white husky, and her younger, ever-clumsy malamute brother, Obito. Together, they were an unstoppable force of chaos, affection, and an oddly specific love for dirt.
Athena, with her distinctive bi-eyed gaze, one a nearly white-blue, the other a rich, warm chestnut, was a combination of elegance and... well, absolute mayhem. She was like if a ballerina and a tornado had a baby. She would prance around like she owned the place, her fluffy tail high and mighty, her little paws moving in a perfectly executed ballet leap. But one moment later, she'd be diving face-first into a flower bed, making it her personal mission to "rearrange" the garden into a more "athletic" shape. Of course, this earned her the affectionate nickname “Miss Pants” because, well, she never seemed to have a plan, just pure energy and an uncanny ability to make things explode. Literally and figuratively.
Then there was Obito, her younger, overly enthusiastic, food-obsessed, malamute brother, who had all the grace of a hippo on roller skates. Obito’s idea of fun was charging into every room at full speed, only to immediately trip over his own oversized paws, sending himself crashing into whatever happened to be in the way, furniture, Athena, or even occasionally, his own reflection in a window. His ears flopped, his tongue hung out of his mouth, and he flashed his biggest, goofiest grin, as though he had just solved world peace with a belly rub. His overwhelming love language? Wet, slobbery kisses. Everywhere. You could count on him to find you and cover you in them at least a million times a day, no matter what you were doing, no matter how inconvenient. “Oh, you’re eating dinner? KISS ME NOW, HUMAN!” Mwah!
Athena, being the natural-born leader and self-proclaimed Princess of the duo, couldn’t help but adore Obito’s missteps, even if they were usually the cause of her own chaos. She saw in him a kindred spirit, someone whose energy mirrored her own, just a bit more... uncoordinated. He had a few more inches to grow into his massive paws, but Athena had full confidence that he’d be the most bumbling (yet lovable) pack mate ever.
Now, on to Athena’s greatest invention, the language of Scrumblesnort.
It all began one summer afternoon when Athena was in the midst of one of her signature feats, leaping majestically over the sofa, landing gracefully (with only a slight misjudgment of distance) and toppling half the coffee table in the process. Obito, meanwhile, was deep in the garden , attempting to dig to the center of the Earth with all the enthusiasm of a dog who had never seen dirt before. Athena, watching him from the window, had an epiphany.
“Scrumblesnort,” she declared, her voice cutting through the air like the wise leader she was (in her own mind).
Obito, mid-dig, looked up, his head cocked in confusion. “What?”
“Scrumblesnort!” Athena repeated, with all the seriousness of a professor explaining quantum physics.
“I don’t… I don’t get it,” Obito said, paws muddy, clearly not grasping the enormity of what was about to unfold.
“Oh, you will, Obito. You will,” Athena said cryptically, already working out the complex nuances of this nonsense language in her head. “It’s a secret language. Only dogs can understand it. You and I will be unstoppable.”
Obito, still unsure, was skeptical but eager to please his sister. “But why don’t we just bark or something?”
Athena rolled her eyes so dramatically that even the garden gnome would’ve been embarrassed for her. “Barking? That’s what the humans do. We, Obito, are far more advanced. This... this is Scrumblesnort.”
Obito took a deep breath, then with a shrug of his enormous shoulders, muttered something unintelligible and spat out a slobbery “Grrr-scrumblesnort!” before promptly tripping over his tail and falling into the flower bed. Athena watched this, her bi-eyes narrowing in satisfaction.
“Perfect. You’re a natural,” she said, and thus the Scrumblesnort language was born.
In no time at all, Athena and Obito began practicing their new language. It was absurd, nonsensical, and entirely impossible to explain to anyone who wasn’t a dog. They would make snorting sounds, engage in rhythmic barking, and sometimes, they'd just grunt loudly and roll around on the ground in a display of Scrumblesnort fluency.
Their first test of this new language came when they encountered a group of squirrels taunting them from a tree. Athena’s eyes lit up with mischief. “Watch this, Obito,” she whispered. “Scrumblesnort will definitely work.”
Obito, still unsure but keen to please, nodded enthusiastically. They approached the tree, and Athena launched into an elaborate series of snorts, barks, and paw twitches. Obito, doing his best to follow, added in his own enthusiastic contribution, a booming “Scrumblesnort!” that startled even the squirrels into silence.
At first, the squirrels just blinked, clearly unsure whether they had just witnessed an alien encounter or an upcoming dog park dance battle. But then, they surrendered.
Athena, Obito, and their new squirrel allies exchanged nods. A treaty had been signed in the language of Scrumblesnort. The squirrels, in an unprecedented act of diplomacy, dropped a few acorns at the dogs' paws before retreating to the safety of their leafy fortress. Athena turned to Obito, her tail wagging in pride. “Told you it would work.”
Soon, the entire dog park was in on the act. Dogs, big and small, from every corner of the neighborhood, were suddenly fluent in Scrumblesnort. A border collie named Max started using it to distract his humans from leaving the park early, while a golden retriever named Daisy used it to get extra treats after every trick. Even the grumpy bulldog, Buster, gave it a try, and within minutes, he was organizing a Scrumblesnort union to get more pets from their owners.
But the humans? Utterly confused.
“What is happening?” one owner asked as their dog, Bella, barked excitedly and then grunted, “Scrumble-snort-squabble!” in a passionate display.
“I think they’ve invented their own language?” another owner ventured, blinking in disbelief as their dog, Charlie, attempted to translate by rolling on his back and flapping his paws.
The confusion was immense, but in Athena’s mind, it was mission accomplished. She and Obito were legends in the making, leading a secret doggy society that was slowly taking over the park with barks, jumps, and of course, Scrumblesnort.
The garden, on the other hand, remained a work in progress. Athena’s digging became more and more intricate, as she and Obito discovered the art of terraforming (or, as the humans called it, “destroying the flower beds”). The humans would return to find yet another masterpiece of dirt sculptures, flower massacres, and occasionally a hole that led to God-knows-where. But the pups didn't mind, after all, they were too busy communicating in Scrumblesnort, negotiating with raccoons for extra snacks, and, when the moment was right, stealing extra treats from the humans.
The world may never understand Scrumblesnort, but in the hearts of Athena and Obito, it was the most important language of all.


©️Lainey Green - Intwined.blog