On a chilly December evening, the kind where the wind whispers things like put on socks, or your toes will fall off, Princess Athena the Elegant Menace awoke dramatically from her nap atop the sofa. Not on the sofa. Atop it. Draped with a blanket like a royal cape. Because she didn’t do things normally. She only did them fabulously.
Her bi-eyes, one sky blue and the other rich chestnut, snapped open with the intensity of a dog who has realised there are leftovers somewhere in the house.
Today, she had a mission.
A purpose.
A destiny.
A level of self-importance matched only by celebrities and royalty.
She leaped off the sofa in one graceful, unnecessary backflip and proclaimed to the universe, I shall become SantaPaws.
The universe replied by knocking a plant off the windowsill, which she took as a sign of approval.
But Athena knew one thing about legendary holiday figures, they never worked alone. Santa had elves. She needed an elf too. Preferably one with enthusiasm and a lack of bone-hurting common sense.
Perfect.
Time to wake Obito.
Obito the Giant Walking Marshmallow was in the hall, sprawled on his back, snoring so loudly that the floorboards vibrated like he was trying to communicate with underground civilisations. His tan eyebrows, permanently stuck in an expression of confused delight, twitched as he dreamed of… who knows. Biscuits? Wrestling a cloud? Accidentally sitting on a vacuum?
Athena booped his massive nose with her delicate paw.
He didn’t wake up.
She booped again.
Nothing.
She booped a third time with enough force to legally classify it as a misdemeanor.
Obito’s entire body activated in an instant, exploding upright and launching a tidal wave of wet, sloppy kisses directly at Athena’s pristine face. Her fur stuck up in soggy triangles. Her dignity left the room quietly.
Obito grinned so hard his tail knocked over a shoe rack. Good morning Princess Miss Pants!
Athena wiped her face with the expression of a queen who had just been licked by a swamp creature. Thank you for that… exuberant awakening. But listen closely. I have chosen to become SantaPaws. And you, Obito, shall be my Christmas elf.
Obito gasped so loudly he inhaled a dust bunny and sneezed it across the hall. I get SNACKS?!
No. You get responsibilities.
But Obito was so excited he attempted a victory dance. This involved slipping on the tile and sliding directly into a pile of laundry with the grace of a beached walrus.
Athena pretended this was all part of the plan.
With the new holiday hierarchy established, they began their training.
Athena first led Obito into the garden, the place she normally refused to touch because dew dared touch her royal paws. And yet, bizarrely, this same princess would march proudly through muddy fields for hours like a soldier of chaos. But the garden? No. Too moist. Too grassy. Too offensive.
Except today.
Today she had a vision.
Elf, she said with the authority of a small general who has just stolen a donut, Christmas cheer begins with landscaping.
Obito blinked. Does landscaping have snacks?
Athena ignored this and began digging a hole with the ferocity of a tiny, furry excavator powered entirely by spite and caffeine. Mud flew. Grass flew. Bits of daisies flew. A worm probably texted its family goodbye.
Obito joined in with his own digging technique, which involved scooping dirt with his giant paws, missing the ground entirely, falling face-first into the hole he was digging, and needing Athena to drag him out like a potato stuck in a well.
I AM A MUD POTATO he declared triumphantly.
Athena sighed in that long-suffering way older sisters do. You are an elf. Please act like one.
Once the garden had been transformed into what could only be described as the aftermath of a gopher rave, Athena announced phase two of SantaPaws preparations, The Furniture Olympics.
She zoomed back inside, took a deep breath, and leapt over the couch like a majestic reindeer who had just discovered caffeine. Then over the coffee table. Then over the ottoman. Then, for dramatic flair, over Obito.
Obito tried to copy her and immediately miscalculated the trajectory. He launched himself directly into the empty laundry basket, which then slid across the floor like a budget amusement park ride, carrying Obito with it until he crashed into the shoe cupboard.
Athena, watching from atop the couch, nodded proudly. Impressive. Unconventional. Mildly terrifying. Perfect elf energy.
Next, they needed a base of operations.
Santa had the North Pole.
Athena would settle for a massive blanket fort.
By the time they finished, the fort consisted of every blanket in the house, every pillow within reach, three socks of unknown origin, and at least one slipper Obito stole because he thought it looked lonely.
Inside the blanket fortress, Athena lit the metaphorical candle of destiny, which meant she stared at Obito intensely while he accidentally tore down an entire wall of the fort with one tail wag.
Obito lay down, looking devastated. I broke Christmas.
You break Christmas every day, Athena assured him. But that doesn’t mean it stops working.
That evening, with their blanket fortress repaired (sort of), they began the final mission, delivering gifts around the house like true holiday icons.
Athena selected each gift with care and meaning. Socks she had collected during her advent season of laundry thievery. A triangle made of sticks from the garden, which she believed contained powerful druid magic. A slightly chewed shoe, which she refused to admit she had chewed. A tennis ball she had stolen from Obito six months prior.
Obito’s contributions were… unique. A half-eaten biscuit. A pinecone he found in his tail fluff. A slobbery kiss he gifted the air. And, finally, the gift of himself, which he delivered by sitting directly on top of Athena while she arranged presents.
Eventually they curled up together, Athena draped across Obito’s massive potato-like body, Obito drooling lovingly across her nose. The lights twinkled. The house was quiet. And then a shimmering glow filled the room.
A warm, jolly voice boomed softly. Ho ho ho… well done, SantaPaws. And well done to your elf.
Athena’s eyes opened wide. Obito gasped so hard that a pillow shot into the air.
Standing near the tree, real as biscuits and twice as magical, was Santa himself.
He smiled at Athena. You have brought chaos, confusion, and questionable decision-making. Exactly the spirit of Christmas.
He placed a golden tag around her collar that read SantaPaws in Training.
Then he turned to Obito, who was wagging his tail so hard he was rotating like a Roomba on turbo mode, and handed him a special charm shaped like a paw print.
For the world’s most enthusiastic Love Bug Elf.
Obito cried.
Athena cried.
Santa chuckled like he had seen many weird things but this topped it.
Then, with a wink, he vanished.
The next morning, the humans awoke to find a garden that looked like a mole uprising had occurred, a blanket fort the size of a small country, socks in locations socks should not legally be, a dented laundry basket, several suspicious stick formations, and two sleeping dogs tangled together like fluffy spaghetti.
Athena’s golden SantaPaws tag shone proudly.
Obito snored with his toes in the air, toe beans on full display like holiday decorations.
Christmas had been saved.
Magic had been unleashed.
And the reign of Athena SantaPaws and Obito the Love Bug Elf was only just beginning.

©️Lainey Green Intwined.blog

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