Chapter Seven – July 2022

“That beautiful season the Summer! 
Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; 
And the landscape 
Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.”
–  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When July arrives so has summer, the dandelions and buttercups gild the lawn as the buzzing bee flutters among the clover tops, gathering pollen to carry home. Flower buds bursting into colour, inviting drowsy bees and graceful butterflies, to perch among their petals, welcoming them as their smiley faces bedazzle in acceptance.
The sunshine sparkles on our ponds, as the goldfish and koi, swim safely below, as the captivating sound of trickling water, calms, as it trickles over the lilypads. Our furry friends lazily soak up the heavenly warmth of the sun, making the most of summer before the Autumn winds blow. 
How I love my little garden, where I sit and contemplate, it’s my perfect piece of paradise, just inside our garden gate. 
As I look out on my paradise, I feel a sense of pride, it’s such a pretty room, a room we made outside. 
It’s a room to nurture nature, as nature nurtures us. I grew this garden from tiny seeds, and now there’s flowers everywhere. I made our garden to feel free and enjoy its beauty as it soothes me.

I’ll admit I’ve spent more time than ever before, in our garden this year. Its truly been, the biggest blessing. And even though it’s been a lot of  hard work, it truly is my favourite place especially when the sun-rays makes every inch of my paradise radiate. 
It has calmed my soul and quietened my mind as well as, warmed my achy bones.
It’s become my tranquility and I can not thank it or summer enough for giving me the peace, I hadn’t released I was seeking.

Life has a way of creeping up on you, tightening your muscles, filling your mind with nonsense and dragging you down. It’s only when you let yourself relax a while, you fully understand the pressure you’ve been under. 
As everyday stresses and painful emotions got the better off me, I made myself, stop! The craziness that’s had my thoughts, my body and my emotions spiralling out of control, had to change and change fast before I sank into depression. 
The emotions and heartache, over the last five months, had gotten the better of me. They were dragging me down and making me feel bitter and angry. 
In truth I was letting anger build instead of letting the hurt and sadness consume me. Neither are a good thing and I knew deep down, that I had to free my soul from its troubles, before it changed me into a person I did not want to become.
Sadly I’m not the kind of person, who can let go very easily, even though for my own sanity I knew I had to. I had to make the pain and hurt stop before even more damage was done. 
No easy task, for someone who lives off their emotions and, wears her heart on her sleeves.

I decided that July was the month, to let go of my self loathing and give myself space to breath. 
Throwing my hobbies aside, (it’s been too warm to crochet anyway) I picked up a book, sat in my garden and lost myself in the pages. I let my imagination run wild, and invested my emotions in the characters.
It’s been a blessing and exactly what I needed. 
Escapism through reading, fictional stories, is a very, very, powerful tool. Add to that a vivid imagination and truly the world is your oyster. 

It’s been a very long time, since I gave myself some self love or self care and without a doubt I should have done it sooner. 
And even though my mind likes to tell me, I’m wasting time and to stop being selfish and lazy, I know deep, deep down, I have to be selfish, I have to give myself time, time to heal, and if that means, I don’t get my crochet finished as quickly as I would like, or the house doesn’t get hoovered it’s normal, three times a day, and only hoovered once or the weeds grow faster than I can pull them, if I don’t give myself some self love, and burn myself out, none of it will get done anyway. 
A little self care has to be a priority no matter, what stage of life or the life struggles you face, sometimes you have to put yourself and your own sanity first.

So until next time or should I say the next chapter, I ask you, to take some time each day, just for you. Be it, ten minutes or an hour, take the time to do what you love, bring some peace to your soul and most of all, love yourself. 

Stay true, not blue.

Too-da-loo for now.

🦋🦋🦋

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