May has been hard, it’s thrown every emotion possible at us.
It’s GCSE’s and boy the pressure the children are under is horrendous. They have so many exams, too many, even our family doctor was saying how wrong it is and that the pressure the children are under is ridiculous, that there are too many exams.🥺
Not every child deals with the exam situation, even A* students could easy fail if they can’t handle the exam conditions, especially with the added pressure the schools are bombarding on our children.
Things need to change and change fast, giving every child the best hopes and results for their future.
I don’t often write personal stuff on here, it’s has never been my intention to fill these pages with the ramblings of my over active brain but I feel that I must on this occasion.
You see our youngest Son suffers terribly with anxiety, so much so it effects all of us, especially with his GCSE’s in full swing.
As a parent the worst feeling in the world is to see your child, your own flesh and blood struggling and not being able to help him.
Trust me we have tried, we have tried to get help, over and over again, in every possible place we know to ask.
The help just doesn’t seem to be there and when you actually find a little help, they have too many people on there books, and your left waiting in the forever growing list of children and adults that need help due to mental health.
On top of feeling there is no help out there, mental health is terribly understood and frowned upon, looked down on.
The stigma of mental health doesn’t seem to change even though it is becoming more talked about than ever before but still we are made to feel as if we are attention seekers.
I suffer with anxiety and depression myself so I understand how it’s frowned upon, how alone you feel and that there is no where to turn.
I fully understand the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning because you can not literally face another day with the constant uneasy feeling that control every expect of your life.
I’ll lived through not wanting to leave the house because it’s safe at home, away from lots of people and judgemental eyes.
I’ve felt totally useless and worthless, which only adds more thoughts running rings around my over active mind.
It’s awful feeling like that, feeling like the world would be a better place without you in it, that your just a waste of people’s time and energy, that you are not worthy of love or friendship, that no matter what you do, you will never be good enough.
Pulling yourself out of that state of mind isn’t easy, and in truth I don’t think it ever goes away, it just lays dormant, waiting to rear it’s ugly head.
So to know my baby boy is suffering, is heartbreaking. To know no matter how many hugs I give or words of support and understanding, I’m probably are not making the slightest difference to how he is feeling because I know myself how those feelings of anxiety and the stress levels are suffocating.
I can’t wait for the GCSE’s exams to be over, so his mind can clear a little and hopefully he will have a few weeks of a peaceful mind and enjoy the freedom of summer, before the pressure returns waiting on those dreaded exam results, that are controlling his future.
No matter the grades that come on those sheets of paper and certificates, they mean nothing in my eyes, they don’t define you as a person, they don’t show what lovely, talented, wonderful, caring people you are, which to me is the most important thing in life, not grades on a piece of paper.
All you can do is do your best, hold your heads up high and know that there are so much more important things in life, like love, kindness and honesty.
We will be and already are extremely proud of who you are as a person and what you achieve of a daily basis.❤️

🧐Family Research.
Well, it just hasn’t happened until the last few days. My cousin Stacey has been in contact with Co. Kerry Library, who have been kindly looking into the records held there, in hopes of finding out information on our O’Connor ancestors.
Stacey received an email last week with a few possible leads and we have been looking into those.
I’m not going to say to much, as I will share our findings at a later date but one document is very interesting, that I have to share it here, in hopes it may spark a memory.
This document about a John O’Connor, born in 1872, describes his looks, scars and tattoos in detail.

This John O’Connor, was 5ft 6, without shoes, had a dark complexion. He had black hair and brown eyes.
He also had a dot on his third index finger, a long scar on the end of his nose and right jawbone. A dot, women on ball and two wings on his left arm and a star on his left wrist and wreath on his right wrist also a ship and crown on his right upper arm.
Does that ring any bells or sound like your Grandfather Nan and Joy?

🧶Crochet.
Crochet has been my theory this month, it really does help when my tummy turns with anxiety and my head is full of ramblings.
I finished my Casablanca Afghan, by the ever so talented designer, Tinna Thórudóttir Thorvaldsdóttir, which was a present from my Mum to my youngest Son Calum.
I absolutely love it and so does Calum.
You can read all about it here.

I’ve made two, Vintage Market Tote by Dorianna Rivelli, “The Lavender Chair.”
My Mum had asked me to make her a bag for our holiday. She narrowed it down to two bags, Chevron Bobble Tote Bag by, Jennifer Pionk, from “A crocheted simplicity” and the Vintage Market Tote.
We decided on the Vintage Market Tote, and I ordered the recommended yarn which was listed and linked on Ravelry.
I started making it and within six rounds the yarn was gone.😫
Something wasn’t right as I should have only needed one skein maybe two, if my tension was off, but I had only completed 6 of the 31 rounds of the pattern.
After investigating a little I realised that the Ravelry link had taken me to the wrong yarn, it had taken me to, Bernat Maker Big Yarn, instead of, Bernet Maker Home Dec.
Mum and I debated if I should order more and continue, knowing that it would end up being one experience bag.
I made the decision to make one out of, Scheepjes Namaste and see how much yardage I would use.
I used 2.5 skeins of Scheepjes Namaste, colour Half Moon, costing a reasonable £18.75 and I loved the result.
I changed the pattern a little, by making back post Sc’s across the 5 stitches in round 10.
It worked out well and I was pleased with the result.

Since finishing Mums, I have made another for my Sister Kerry. I used Scheepjes Namaste, in colour, Handstand (620).
I’m totally in love with this colour, it looks amazing.
I forgot to take a photo before I gave it to her so she kindly took one for me.

I restarted the, “Waffle Stitch Blanket” pattern by, Amanda Crochets, which I started last month but frogged/ripped out, because the colour yarn wasn’t quite right. 🐸
It’s a free pattern which can be found on Amandas website, Amanda Crochets, it can also can be brought as a ad free pattern at her Etsy shop.
The pattern is so easy and calming and with a nice chunky yarn, works up very fast and the end result is fantastic.
I’m using the gorgeous Scheepjes Namaste, colour 604 – Locust.
Locust as all the Scheepjes Namaste, colours I have used so far, change colour tones in different lights, which is one thing I love about this yarn, add to that, how wonderfully soft it is, and you can see why it’s becoming one of my favourite yarns. I truly love working with it.

For My Sister, Hayley’s, “Crochet A Block Afghan 2017” afghan by Joanita Theron, I’ve made the following squares.
Filet Flower Granny Square, Cluster Circles In A square, Four Square Granny Square,
Popcorn Flower Granny Square, Anemone Granny Lace Square and Split Granny Square.
All designed by, Joanita Theron.

Of course I had to start, Hooked on Sunshine, new pattern Phoenix, which was last months crush of the month.
But as this is a top secret project, I can’t really tell you more than that, apart from, I’m absolutely LOVING it. ❤️
OMG this pattern is AMAZING. Vanessa talent is second to none, seriously. Every round calms the soul, you just don’t want it to end.
I’m really taking my time with my Phoenix, enjoying it and marvelling in it’s beauty.
If it’s not on your hook yet, please go and download the first few parts and get going, you’ll truly regret it if you don’t.
It’s blown me away and lit a fire inside of me.
Thank you so very much Vanessa and all your fairies for giving us the opportunity to make your breathtaking masterpiece. I’m in awe of your talent.
You can download the pattern parts here and here.

Talking about Hooked on Sunshine’s gorgeous patterns, I made
Delilah.

And Aurora for my Mums, “Nuts About DNA Afghan.”

I also made the “Vintage Rainbow Square” by Crafty CC.

I decided to step outside my comfort zone and had my first go at making clothing. 😏
I have literally spent hours searching for a pattern, one that was suitable for an absolute beginner and finally decided on the, Ballerina Top, by Annoo Crochet.
I made the mistake of using Aran, instead of double knit so it’s rather heavy and of course I ran out yarn. I’m not sure if I will continue with it or not. It’s a shame because I had set myself a goal at the beginning of the year to make a top of some sort and me being me, I’ve now lost faith in myself and my ability.

I finally invested in some, Take it Personally Knit and Lace blocking wires.

and Knitpro Knit Blockers.

In total honesty, they are the best thing I have brought, worth every penny. I now have wonderful straight edges. They are available on Amazon and eBay. I brought mine from eBay but delivery on the wires, was a bit of a joke and they took weeks to get to me even tho it was a 48 hour delivery time.

😍Crochet Crush.
It’s an easy one this month.
“High Tide Waves” by Daiga, from BebaBlanket, is beyond breathtaking.

The High Tide Waves Blanket, is running as a crochet along on, BebaBlanket Facebook group or if you are not on Facebook, you can buy the pattern on Ravelry here.
The CAL started on May 10, 2019 on the Crochet patterns by BebaBlanket Facebook group, where you will find the first part of the pattern and share your own beautiful makes. After you have made the first part, you will be given the second and then the third.
All parts of the pattern for CAL participants will be FREE if you join the CAL not later than June 1, 2019 and complete the second of three parts not later than June 30, 2019.
Those who are not interested in participating in the CAL may purchase the pattern from BebaBlanket blog or Ravelry.
I am desperately wanting to start but I need to tie up some other projects before I do.
Also I need to find the perfect yarn for this breathtaking pattern.
You can find BebaBlanket and all her wonderful patterns at,

BebaBlanket on YouTube
BebaBlanket Blog
BebaBlanket on Facebook
BebaBlanket on Pinterest
BebaBlanket on Instagram

I would like to say a huge thank you to Daiga, for kindly allowing me to share her gorgeous pattern, photos and information with you.
It’s truly deserves to be seen and made by many.

I think that about sums up my May, so until next time,
Too-da-loo for now.