March 2020 has changed the world forever and that is just damn right scary.
Everyone’s future is unsure right now.
We are all thinking the same questions.

Will I get sick?
Will I survive but more importantly will my nearest and dearest survive?
Will I still have a job to go back to?
How am I going to pay the bill, let alone feed our family?
When will lockdown finish?
What will I do on that first day of freedom?
Will I be able to get the prescription medicine I need to keep my body functioning properly?
How can I stop myself from over thinking, calm my anxiety and stop myself falling into deep depression?

I could go on and on but I’m sure you all know the trillions of thoughts and questions dancing around all our mind 24/7.

The Fear is real, it’s deafening.

Living in a household with one self employed income, an income that has been stopped in its tracks, is a massive worry. We really have no clue how we are meant to pay our bills, or how we can feed our hollow legged boys, our furr babies and of course ourselves.
With that weight around our necks, my poor hubby is beyond stressed that every time he has to pop out for food or medical supplies, he may bring covid 19 home with him.
He’s beyond worried about his wife (me) being high risk and that I could possibly end up being rigged to a machine, alone, fighting the good fight of life or death!!!
I whole heartily understand his worry, as my fears are the same, for our high risk family members. Family that we may not get to hug for months on end. I can’t let my self think about it the worst should happen! 😭
Sh** got real, real fast and in truth I’m prettified as I’m sure the whole world is right now.🌍

On a positive note, our world is beginning to heal, we’ve learnt who and what is important. We’ve learnt that there are hundreds of people out there who just don’t seem to have a brain in their skulls, who don’t seem to care about anyone but themselves and having a good time.
How hard is it to follow instructions that could possibly save your life and the lives of millions.
Is really going to the beach or forest more important than human life? I think not!!!😡

At this time of desperation, we should be pulling together, listening, obeying, helping others, staying indoors or the safety of your back gardens.
We should be showing humanity.
We should be thanking the amazing people who are on the front lines, risking their own lives to save others.😷
We should be thanking the older generations for their sacrifices throughout history by staying the hell in doors, no stockpiling and doing anything we can to keep them safe.
They deserve it after everything they have been through to give us a future and our freedom.
Freedom we take for granted every single day.
Freedom that once this devastating time is over, we will get back.
Hopefully we will be wiser and more appreciative of the world around us and the people we love.

Hard times always pass, they truly do.
I hope that when they do, you can look at yourself in the mirror with pride, pride that you did the right thing and stayed home, pride that the one small request to stay home saved millions of lives, that that one gesture helped to protect our NHS. The NHS we all take/took for granted.

🧶

Crochet.
Well that just hasn’t happened. Even though it’s always been my way of coping, I just can’t seem to do it at the moment.
I’ve tried, trust me, I really have tried but 10 minutes in, exhaustion takes over and I’m asleep, hook still in hand.
Crochet has been a massive part of my life for so many years now. It’s gotten me through the toughest of times, it’s given me propose when I’ve felt more than worthless.
But now I need it more than ever before, I can’t seem to function or feel the pull it has always given me.
That saddens me to my soul.
But with all the unease in the world, something I hook up isn’t going to change a thing, it isn’t important. It could in pure honesty be the last thing I ever work on, if covid 19 does enter our household. With that in mind, I don’t want to spend the time I have at home with my family consumed by needing to finish a blanket.
Yeah I know that’s kind of morbid but being high risk has changed my mindset.
My loving husband, my gorgeous boys, my Mum and the rest of our beautiful family are what’s important. They are my life.
I’m sure in time I will find that spark again, that crochet will once again fill me with the joy it always has. That maybe I will be able to crochet more than 4 rows before exhaustion sets in. But for now it doesn’t really matter.

🚍

Phillippe.
He’s coming on beautifully and I love him.❤️
Mark has been working on him relentlessly and boy isn’t he starting to look good.
I won’t give too much away as I hope to share what Marks been up to and some progress pictures in the next few days.

Before I say that too-da-loo, I have to ask three things from you. Stay Home, Stay Safe, Stay Sane.

Too-da-loo.

🦋🦋🦋