Christmas gift suggestions –
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.     
(Oren Arnold)

Frost covered mornings, roaring fires, shimmering trees and houses alight with twinkly light, it’s beginning to feel like Christmas. 
Is it just me, didn’t November seem long, it dragged and dragged some more. My mood was low and I struggled rather a lot. 
I’m not sure if it’s down to the wet, cold weather which makes me feel rather poorly or the fact that life is far from what is our normal. Covid has changed all our lives in one way or another.

I can’t for sure say lockdown 2 played apart in my mood, as I’m very use to being at home 24/7, only venturing out once a week to see my mum and auntie, but boy those weeks were long and exhausting. 
However I did try to put them to good use and brought all my Christmas presents. Shopping online is always tricky and more often than not, I am disappointed when the postman comes. This time though shopping on line has been the biggest disappointment and extremely stressful.  Many, I mean many, of my orders never arrived, and had to be resent by the seller. One it particular has caused headache after headache and still my sister in-law Rache is without her gift. 
Without naming and shaming, the company I ordered her pressie from is a big respected company so you would think it would be easy going but no, my first order was sent back to them by Hermes with no reason given or notification, they didn’t even try to deliver it. My order was sent out again and still nearly two weeks later, Hermes have not delivered it. I’m getting a little mad now but more so extremely disappointed. Fingers crossed I finally receive it in time, in truth I’m not holding my breath.

My mood also could be the reason I can’t find my creative flare. I have been struggling for a while now especially with finding my voice when sitting down to write a blog. I sincerely apologise to you all and pray it returns at double quick speed because I miss the kind of therapy this little corner of the internet brings me. 

I think I’ve said before that December is always bitter sweet for me. 24 years ago today my precious Dad was in a car accident that changed my family’s lives forever by taking his life. 
Even though I can now think of my Dad and smile, instead of cry, December brings back the most horrific memories of the four months we watched him slowly fade away in front of our eyes. 
I never felt heartbreak like it and all these years later the pain is still as great. I miss him terribly. A single day doesn’t go past that he isnt forefront in my mind and my heart aches for his and our future that was cruelly taken away.

A poem by Toni Kane sums it up perfectly.

I wish I could see you one more time, come walking through the door, but I know that is impossible, I will hear your voice no more. I know you can feel my tears and you don’t want me to cry, yet my heart is broken, because you had to die. I pray that you will give me strength and somehow get me through, as I struggle with this heartache, that came, when I lost you.

🧶

Crochet. 
I’ve been a busy bee. 
I finished my Mums Christmas present. 🎁 Boy wasn’t it a delightful make. I truly enjoyed stitching away. And thankfully with each stitch made my crojo began to return. I can’t share any pictures or details with you yet as someone special may see, but I will share all as soon as I can. 

I also have been busy making hats, lots and lots of hats. Some of these are presents so once again I can’t really share photos or details. Sorry but here is a sneaky peek for you.

Hats are always a joy, as they don’t take that long to make and you have a completed item before you know it.  The only trouble is there are so many hat patterns available to buy or even for free, that it’s hard to pick just one. 
Maybe one day soon I’ll write a post all about my favourite hat patterns. Would you like that?

💒

Vow Renewal. 
OMG 20 sleeps to go. 😁😁😁

I can’t believe that on Christmas Eve we will be standing in our local church, declaring our love for one another, with our boys at our side and surrounded by our nearest and dearest. I’m so flipping excited. 
We had a zoom meeting with James our priest last week, going over the final details, which made it feel very real and upped the excitement even more. 
I’m sure you have heard me talk about James before. He is the nicest guy and it will be a honour to stand with him as we say the special words of our vow renewal. It’s rather special that he will be the person that performs the ceremony as over the years he has been a big part in researching our family history. He also baptised our boys Con and Cal. 
I must admit the closer it greats, fear is creeping in. 

My second biggest fear is judgement, in truth it petrifies me. My heart and soul is more than a little sensitive and I fear that people may see me as mutton dressed as lamb. I know I shouldn’t feel that way especially as the most important people in our lives will be the only ones there, unfortunately I don’t know a way of stopping my fear from exploding over, driving the very little self love and confidence I have to near on zero. 
I hope I can control it enough so it doesn’t take over the most important emotion LOVE, on our special evening. 
Guilt is also creeping in, guilt that we can not have all our family and friends with us. I hope deeply that no one will hold it against us.  
We would have loved you all there to rejoice in our love for each other. Covid has a lot to answer to. 
But We are so very lucky and grateful  it can still happen. 
All there is for me to do now is stop stuffing my face full of chocolate and carbs so I still fit in my dress. 👰🏻 I hate being a comfort eater. 🥺

🚍

Phillippe.  
Renovation on Phillippe has come to a stop mainly due to me becoming an Xbox widow, well a “Call Of Duty” widow. 
With our honeymoon trip not looking possible, there hasn’t been the rush to get him perfect. 
It’s such a shame as we never had a honeymoon as I didn’t want to leave 7 month old Connor behind. One day we may get our adventure but for now we can dream. 
To be honest the weather hasn’t been on our side either, using power tools eg our mitre saw or our table saw outside in the pouring rain is a sure way to hurt/kill yourself. 
As I’m itching to continue learning and do a few jobs around the house that needs renovation and decorating, I pulled out some paint and painted inside our fie place. It looks so much better as before it was painted black. You now can see the log burner in all its splendour. The lighter paint shows how bad the walls are but we have plans to transform it so it will make do until then.

Right I best stop rambling and let you get on with your day. 
Stay safe guys. 
Too-da-loo for now.

🎅🏼🎅🏼🎅🏼