Chapter Five, May 2022

Every single life is different, not one the same as the other. Every crossroads is not only a decision but also a destination.
How simple it is to take the wrong turning, altering your destiny one step at a time. Some may believe that no matter the journey, the destination of your life has been set in stone before your birth, that fate leads the way.
Others may believe that you make your own destiny, and you’re totally in control of your outcome.
Personally, I am not sure what I believe, my views have changed dramatically over the years. I once strongly believed that your death was planned the day you were born, and your life is already mapped out for you. Over the years, as my inquisitive mind grow stronger, I’ve questioned my own beliefs and now I’m all a pickle.
Are we put on this earth, for one reason alone, to multiply?
Or is there hidden meaning in the reasoning of life and death.
I constantly question why some live truly happy lives when others suffer continuously throughout theirs.
Why some lives are cut short, and others live out their days with crumbling bones and forgetful minds. I not sure which is the cruellest!!!
And the biggest question of all, why do the evil souls prosper while the kind, loving, exceptional beings have the cruellest hand in life?
These unanswerable question lead to so many more questions.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the power of prayer and what life would be like to put all one’s faith in the hands of God?
Would my life struggles be less if I gave myself to God and I soulfully believed that he/she was the saving grace?
I have never been religious and if I am one hundred present honest with myself, I’m not convinced by the whole God thing.
Yes, I’m hypocritical, as I love the thought of there being a heaven, where I will see my darlin Dad and Brothers, Christian and Stefan, one day. I really cannot put into words, what peace it gives to believe that maybe there is a possibility I can be united with them.🙏🏻 But how can one believe in heaven, if one is not convinced that God is even real.
In a strange way, I like to think he/she is because he/she brings peace to so many. To have something to believe in, that calms your soul, must be so wonderful.
But still I internally struggle with believing in something that can never be proven and heartbreakingly I must admit that the concept of heaven is the same.
I do however believe in spirits and that a rare few can communicate with our lost loved ones.
My Great Grandmother, Eileen O’Connor, had the gift, and I often wish that it had been passed down through dna to me.
My Wonderful Great Grandmother Eileen was a believer in God and the Virgin Mary, it gave her great peace, throughout her life.
She came from Irish roots and a strong catholic upbringing.
I often forget how religious my family are/were, and it’s only when my gorgeous Nanny Mint, emails me and ends with,

“God bless darlin.”

I remember. It funny how those three insignificant words, give me an overwhelming sense of peace and pride. It makes me wonder if religion isn’t about a so-called God but more about a feeling and the security those feeling give.
If that is the case, which right now in this moment, I strongly believe it is, then I’m well up for it.
Unfortunately, God and religion isn’t always peaceful and brings way too much conflict and war, and I do not want to be any part of that.
I’m just wish for my loved ones, and friends, well everyone to live in peace and happiness. Surly that isn’t too much to wish for!!!

Of late I have craved inner peace more than I may have ever before; this year has been real tough on my mental health so to feel at peace with oneself would be wonderful right now.
Life and health has truly been hard going, but you can bet your bottom dollar, that I will not let it beat me.
The last few weeks have been challenging that’s for sure. I went through one of the most traumatic events of my life so far, which has left me in excruciating pain, pain that will not ease until I can have the surgery I need, which I pray won’t be too much longer.
I’m extremely grateful to the NHS, they have been wonderful over the last 10 years but if you’re listening, please hurry up and send me through my appointment.😂

🧐

Family History.
Family History how I love thee!
Sarah and I have continued to research my boy’s paternal history and it’s been flipping awesome. I cannot wait to share the next ancestor with you. Without giving too much away, this lady is fascinating.
We have worked incredibly hard to bring you as much information as we can about her life.
She’s made us a little suspicious, you’ll know what I mean when you read all about her. Sarah and I have also started researching the next individual in the the series, “The life of ……..”
He is also a very interesting character and rather a legend in their family. It’s such an honour to be able to research him, but also extremely daunting.
I wholeheartedly admit that I am tremendously nervous about sharing his life story. I cannot get it wrong and one tragic event must be written about with sincere caution as I would not be able to live with myself if I upset anyone by wording it wrong. I pray I have the ability to not only make him proud but his family also.
The maternal line of the Green Family tree has lots of heart-breaking events and Sarah and me have shared two of these throughout May. Sarah wrote about the tragic death of David Charles Hillier, which you can read here, and I wrote about the Life and tragic death of Harry James Butt, David’s Grandfather, which you can read about here.
I just want to say a huge Thank You, to Sarah, for being my partner in crime, its been such a pleasure as always, researching with you.,

I haven’t done much research on my own branches for a while, so one morning I decided to put random names into the newspaper archives and I found one particular newspaper article I have never come across before, which is very, very, interesting. It’s about a Estella Newell nee Rudgely, whom you can read about here and here. I’ve been a little obsessed with her since I first started researching, so finding the below article, was pretty damn special, I just have to share it with you.
The newspaper archives have always been a little bit tricky, you search certain names and areas and come up blank another day you search the same names and places and Wham! articles appear. It’s very puzzling and frustrating if I’m honest, thank goodness I found this one.

Newspaper Article – 28 December 1907 – Hampshire Independent

I also came across two articles about the wife of my third great uncle George Hatcher, Jane Hatcher nee Fay, who lived for over 100 years. That is pretty damn impressive considering she was born in 1838/1839. She died at the age of 102, wow just wow.

Here are the two articles I found, one about her celebrating her 99th Birthday and another about her 100th Birthday.
I couldn’t help by share them with you.

🧶

Crochet.
I’m sorry to say, I have not picked up my hook once, sorry Uncle Kevan. I hope to feel well enough to pick it back up soon. Unfortunately, when I’m having a bad day health wise or even emotionally, mistakes happen, so it’s just not wise to work on such a precious piece when I’m under the weather.

🌸

Garden.
When the sun has actually shine, I’ve been working my socks off in the garden, planting out most of my larger seedlings.🌱
Boy it’s not the easiest task but hopefully with sun and showers the garden will soon be a delight.
I’ll admit I much prefer sowing seeds than planting out as I have so much to learn about positioning etc. I really didn’t put the thought I should have into what I grow, I just picked the flowers I liked the look of and now I’m kind of regretting that decision.
Help is at hand as my truly inspirational Auntie Jan, is going to help me plan next year’s garden, so come autumn, flower beds will be dug up and rearranged. The perfect seeds will be picked and purchased and in time will grow and fill the beds with the most beautiful display yet.
I’m so flipping exciting, Eeekkkkkkkkk🤗

🏍

Warpspeed Racing.
The Warpspeed team have just got back from an incredible weekend at the Main Event at Santa Pod Raceway.
Mark Smith aka Smithy, my brother in-law, had an amazing weekend not only did he run one new Personal Best but 2, more importantly he ran consistently in the 6s and didn’t damage his beautiful beast of a bike. I’m so very proud of him and the incredible team Warpspeed racing.
Smithy ran 5 times, the first run was a 7.1 second pass, then a new PB of 6.8, at 198.1 mph, then a 6.85, and then the awesome run of 6.78, at 196.42 mph, a new Personal Best, winning against the second fastest top fuel bike in the world which is owned and raced by Cannon Engineering.
Smithy got a bye run straight to the final and ran against Rene Vandenberg,who took First place. Smithy ran an impressive 6.8 coming in 2nd place.
All in all, it was a very successful weekend, one I’m sure Smithy will remember for a lifetime and rightly so.
Congratulations Smithy, we always had faith in you, and we all are super proud.

Right, enough of my rambling, I’ll let you get on with your day. Have a good one.
Stay safe, stay true, be you.
Too-da-loo for now.

🦋🦋🦋

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